Thinking of....

withdrawal symptoms.

AAAS! I went to watch the ballet concert (shades of dance) put up by my previous ballet academy and gazed enviously at those fouettes, pirouettes, pique (posse) turns and arabesques...

I'm now regretful that i chose to quit temporarily.. (do you know if I had waited 2 more weeks. I would have got my pointes! :/) talk about lousy timing. Now I'll have so much catching up to do when I go back after the o's..

stiff bones, inflexible hamstrings etc. I wouldn't be surprised if I got demoted. Just told my mum that I'll probably launch into a 'ballet-crazy' period right after the o's, attending lots of extra lessons and doing lots of stretching. The main thing is I got to get my splits back. Which is going to be inevitably hard and arduous... :(

To love ballet is to love its exquisite pain...

thinking of....

liz, is there such a thing as too little racial discrimination..

there shouldn't be racial discrimination at all and on your point of s'pore youngsters taking racial harmony for granted...i see your point, however i beg to differ. we should be able to make racist jokes without the risk of offending others, unless race is indeed a segregating factor in the society ---which it should not be in the first place.

telling a racist joke should be somewhat like telling a normal joke where we make fun of various professions, nationalities and idiosyncratic aspects of others character or physical appearance. likewise, there must be moderation. yet there should not a great fuss made if one indeed regards race(in a more crudely put way the skin colour of others) as a mere appearance and in no way contributing to divison in the society.

perhaps telling racist jokes right in front of a particular member of that race/skin tone might be overdoing it (don't say i didn't warn, if you get a black eye, don't find me!) but let's jus put it in this way, if people can openly crack 'lawyers being the biggest crooks and liars' in the vicinity of lawyers. i don't see why our society cannot gradually progress to such a situation where skin colour hardly matters.

i've been told i'm a little too idealistic.

you know the typical "if only the world sees everyone as humans and nothing else"

singapore's still a relatively young nation thus i too feel it might take a few more decades to reach such a open-minded and liberal society. racial and religious differences are all too of often exploited by society's troublemakers and no nation would ever want to risk such a possibility of it happening...

therefore i can only hope...

lastly, just a quick question to ask:

" Will you feel more at ease with your Chinese/Indian/Malay/Eurasian neighbour in your HDB block or with a

(if you are Chinese) a 18th century girl with bounded feet
(if you are Indian) a 18th century girl still bounded by the caste system
(if you are Malay) a 18th century girl who gets married at 15
(if you are Eurasian) a 18th century girl with no education

actually it's all about the same...

my choice is rather obvious but

which do you chose?

thinking of....


Fragments of Me (my love for nature, its seasons and some others...)

Leaf
Shimmer, shine, sparkle
Greenish tinge glistening on white tile.
Reams of sunrays poking through,
Translucent with delicate patterns.
As if reflecting my reverie...

Melancholy

Raindrops splashing down the windowpane
I let my breath mist over
And lifted a finger to
Make a little indelible mark
I sighed.
Leaving that rainy sight
With tears in my eyes

Night

Hovering near the little firefly,
A dot in the inky darkness.
Dipping between each other,
Creating a dance of light.
Lake’s waters reflecting.

Seasons

Spring;
Tea plantations spotted with green-blue hues
Summer;
Grass-green woods wet in the sudden rain spell
Autumn;
Woods tinged with red and yellow.
Winter;
Solitary islands covered in pure white snow

Her

Find her at the lily pond,
Beyond those pinks and whites.
There she lay in luminance,
Glowing in its murky depths.
Between her fingers,
She had clasped a rose,
Rather out of place among the reeds.
Resting her form on its sandy bottom,
As her glassy eyes mirrored the yellow orb high above.

Rain

Drenched by drizzle,sloshing slipper.
Leaned against lamp post,
Tear trickles
restful raindrops
immiscibly mixed.
No longer discernable

The Chocoholic Speaks…

Darkish brown
Bittersweet
Tantalized my taste buds
Peaked my addiction
Seduced me utterly
Robbed me of my money
It’s love in itself
It is absolute indulgence

How can such an innocent-looking
Block of substance cause me
So much exhilaration?

Autumn’s Coming

Rustling leaves crunch beneath footsteps
Erratic gusts of wind replace the warm muggy air

Cold seeps through thread-bare cardigan
A glimpse of setting sun melting into the horizon

Rays cast a devilish orangey hue
As if anger and rage smothered earth’s surface

Then,
A solitary yellow crinkled flower petal
Gracefully falls
Gliding to make ---
A dozen beautiful arcs
Finally landing on the sheen of water

The azure waves mirrored
Their reflections

She bends down
To scoop the shimmering liquid
To drink them hungrily
Refreshing sensations down
Her parched dry throat

Drops splashed;
Forming tiny rivulets of crystals
Sliding down those cheeks

She raised her head again
Now oddly comforted
By the pinkish glow surrounding her

She stands up
To run home
Her once sluggish steps
Replaced by the sprint of an athlete

Her troubles momentarily forgotten;
It was autumn


Song of Nature

Imagine a flower
Serenading to the gentle breeze
One among the dozens
A tiny insignificant poppy amidst the lush greenery
Not so far away lies a creek
With its streams of turquoise ribbons
Gradually merging to form a bluish serpent

It snakes its way through
The other poppy-filled fields
Finally melting into the giant ocean

Current, wave, surf
Lapping over each other
At times ravenously chewing the worn out shores
Or just placidly swishing by the leaping dolphins

Along with the rhythm of the wind
Poppies dance
Trees sway
Water flows
Dolphins triumph
Under the golden rays of the sun

All in unison
--- A perfectly synchronized movement
It is whole
They are one

thinking of....

what's so threatening uh??
hehe, anyway just for the record i like jia's essay too.
much more seriuos thoughtful and coming-of-age.
unlike mine obviously :0

today was .....
the regular monday
except for singspiration. i am really sorry to say this but if such singspiration continues i think i'll find me strangling myself to end my misery. let's just put it this way. i already have a mild headache and blocked nose. coupled together with the blaring sound system and some off-key singing (which can't really be classified as singing since it's using the "speaking" voice) wouldn't that aggravate the entire situation. and trust me, i wasn't the one cringing...

nevetheless i know i shouldn't be complaining since this worship is done out of an act of love, praise..etc. but is that any way to start a monday morning!?! maybe it's the school's ploy to wake us up from slumber ....or more likely worsen the monday blues :(

haha, i even found myself whispering at the ending prayer.. where it's suppose to go.. "thank you lord for the worship" and my version goes :" thank you lord -insert- for ending-close insert- the worship..

okay now for some random 'poet'ing :)

To Remember

Like faded sepia leaves
Shards of glass-fragment memories
Floating wisps of feathery clouds
A tailing sentence; unfinished
Faint imprints of your shoes
Mere footnotes of life..

thinking of....



MY PARADISE

I feel like flying to Greece.
To Santorini Island where the skies are blue
And the clouds are white
Where the sea is green and the air is fresh
Where the white washed sprightly painted alcoves
Hang above the craggy cliffs of Santorini Island
Where there's peace and bliss
And I can lie face up to the sun
And welcome the windy breeze
Let go all the cares of the world
How I wish...

*the picture on top is a view of santorini island

thinking of....

Umbrella child

Sheltered, cosseted, protected.
Under the neon yellow umbrella,
Shielded from stinging rain,
Shunned from those threatening streaks of lightning
Cloistered - seems like an eternity.

Life's never easy.
Rainstorms never end.
Lightning may not cease.
Without that sturdy yellow companion,
Survival is the question.

So don't throw it away
And exchange it for those modern lightweight ones.
It has seen you through your childhood;
Blue skies and thunder
It was your pillar once upon a time.

As the years gradually slip by,
Its canvas grows worn and weary.
Something you don’t want to be seen with.
A pitiful benefactor,
Next to your posh Guccis

Then it was left all alone
Forgotten in a corner
Gathering mothballs on its once-shiny surface
No longer needed or of use
It was abandoned.

sighs. i have so much homework (imagine my hands outstretched..)

-english newsweek
-bio pract w/s
-bio papers to mark
-chem peer tutoring w/s
-history sbq w/s
-social studies seq w/s
-2 amath papers
-a history test to study for

all in two days and what am i doing now?! typing here. sigh.

well better stop procastinating and get to work.

ciao

thinking of....

the most important lesson of my life.. haha.. yeah right! at the very least an important lesson of my life .. :)

Read on.. :)

"The time given to you was more than sufficient! And this is all you can show me?" the teacher screeched angrily. Surreptiously, I stole a glance at the white donation card clutched between my trembling fingers.

At the top right hand corner, it was printed in capital letters as if shouting out my crime for the world to see.

"TOTAL AMOUNT COLLECTED: SIX DOLLARS ONLY."

That was reason behind the hurling lecture I was now painfully receiving.

The teacher refused to believe I had only managed to muster a measly six dollars for our school's month long donation drive. Truthfully speaking, it was entirely my fault. Studying, attending two camps and the bi-annual shopping spree with my mother had robbed me of those four weeks. It was the last minute discovery of a white donation card innocently poking out of my perpetually messy folder that sent me into frenzy.

Even so it was too late, my neighbours' donation coupled together with the rest of my middling savings made up little. I had submitted my card and the money with great apprehension.

Thus I took the brunt of that whooping lecture. Resigned to my fate, I patiently listened to her incessant ranting, giving monosyllabic replies at appropriate junctures. Then like an unexpected flash of lightening on a stuffy afternoon, her first thunderbolt struck.

"You know, this really reflects on your love for our school," the teacher snapped testily while shooting me a dirty look.

Stunned, I raised up my head to meet her accusing glare. My docile nods of agreement ceased.

Oblivious to my incredulity, she rambled on to deliver the bombshell. She questioned reproachfully, "After all the school has done for you, is this is how you show your gratitude?"

Those words buzzed in my mind like a swarm of angry hornets. My head was throbbing; my eyes ablaze and slowly my limp fingers clenched together forming a tight fist of fury.

Immediately a hurricane of thoughts swept through my mind.

"She can’t be right!" an indignant voice shouted.

"Love cannot be measured by money." another proclaimed self-righteously.

"She’s just an old hag sprouting nonsense. Pay no heed!" a reedy voice piped.

"Put her down. Tell her how narrow minded she is. Tell her she is wrong!" all three chorused simultaneously. My mouth opened a fraction, ready to launch into a tirade. I was determined to redeem myself.

Then a gentle voice whispered, "There is truth in what she says, you know. Remember the times you actually glimpsed that donation card but pretended you didn't see? Those times you were momentarily reminded of your commitment but decided to leave it till tomorrow? Your mother nagged you to get it done but wasn't her advice brushed aside by your excuses?"

Memories flooded my mind and I was left with no choice but to acknowledge this was not caused by a mere problem of forgetfulness.

"It makes sense, doesn't it? Of course, not to bothering to solicit for the donations doesn't necessarily mean you don't love your school but doesn't it reflect on your attitude towards helping the school?" it urged, drowning the incoherent yells of disapproval from the its disgruntled companions.

I never got to defend myself from her accusations. The raging flames had been downed by pearly tears prickling my eyelashes. I was no longer the defiant lass who wanted to correct her teacher's blinkered assumptions. My head was now lowered and I continued listening.

Later on, this all too familiar phrase came back to me. Remember our mothers, fathers, teachers and even friends saying this in the most patronizing and irritating way?

"Don't be rash. Think before you act."

Well, think again!

Like the majority of people who seldom heed advice in the form of pretentious sounding proverbs, I never took those words of caution seriously before. But now I can finally understand and appreciate its meaning.

If I had argued and even won my teacher that fateful afternoon, I would have missed out on knowing more about myself. By keeping mum and recognizing my failings, I got a far better deal than I had hoped for. Not only did I managed to get rid of those faults, but I have also progressed as a person---both mentally and emotionally.

As for that teacher whom I remain grateful to till this day, I still feel she got lucky with me. However, she might not the next time around......

If she does not think before she speaks.

thinking of....

nothing much..

my mind is in a comfortable state of blankness.
a short-lived, nevertheless much-appreciated lull :)

i wanted to be cooperative, responsible, attentive.

but the school just DOES not want me to do so..

we are supposed to do this online survey for the school by today. so i decided to be nice and listen to the school authorities for once regarding IT stuff....

however if you went to this website saying,

"THIS SURVEY HAS 314 QUESTIONS. PRESS START TO BEGIN."

will you seriously press 'start'?

i don't know about the time you can leisurely afford to waste on that 'thing'.

but i obviously shut the window and pretended that i didn't even remember.. haha. this is what happens when the adminstration is crapped up. how do you expect girls who have been bogged down by tons of homework given by you to complete this survey during schooldays. a 314 question survey! craziness! what's the world coming to? !?

anyhow, getting back to the usual stuff.

i had my chinese o level orals on tuesday! yak yak yak. heard the examiners were from nygh. one was nice. smiled and added a complicated sounding chinese idiom for me when i was at a loss for words.

i must tell you it was really funny. cos i paused for a second and she went," bleah boo bleah baa?"( by the way, i forgot the idiom she used) and i was like, "Uuh?". she repeated again, i was thinking:

maybe she's tricking me. to see whether i can that idiom cos she is using it wrongly.-------- nope. this is an exam! SZE MIN! the teacher is so sleepy and tired why in pete's sake would she want to trick you!!??!!

haha. my ever-suspicious nature was overrided by logic again. but truthfully, the teachers were evidently weary. one was yawning and snuggling on her sweater and the one was just stoned. the blank stare and stern, expressionless face. thankfully the sleepy one smiled :)

well that's all for now. you might not be hearing from jia any time soon cos it seems that her computer is spoiled.

ciao!

thinking of....

achievements..specifically Jia's achievement, namely the school's Kilgour-Holloway Busary Award. When i saw her name and proceeded to tell her the good news, she combusted in joy.haha, not literally but somewhat as she dragged me to go and clarify with her. Really happy for her :)

Congrats, Jia! ( and remember to read organic chemistry for revision :P)

A little on friendships... sad but true.. read on




‘Friend’- ly Perspective

Friendship’s like a dandelion,
A breeze gently sways it.
Whoosh!
Lo and behold it’s gone.
Blown into oblivion,
Far and beyond.

I might seem like a cynic,
But trust me it’s true.
The days we used to talk about MTV and boys are superficial
- Mere bubblegum balloons.
With a sharp prick of Sleeping Beauty’s spindly needle,
Probably hinting the impending SATs.
It wouldn’t be much of a matter to forget me once and again.

Usually I’m abandoned during the eve of exams,
Left alone an waiting till you aced them all.
Sometimes I pause to consider,
Whether it’s worth it all?
To be thrown aside like a discarded doll,
When something more ‘IMPORTANT’ comes along.

Pity, I guess that’s just life.
Who asked me to be a friend of yours?



that applied to me a few years back... thankfully not now. :)

for those out there still searching for your true friends...

Trust when you believe
Help when you can
Diplomacy is the first step.
Definitely no hypocrisy.
Show your self
- impatient, hot tempered, blur?
Everyone has their faults
Most of all,
Don't lie.
Not to them
And under no circumstances,
YOURSELF



And remember,
Don't feel inferior
Sometimes they do too..