thinking of...

things.

well if you want to know something not so unexpected of me... i lost my wallet along with my ic, ez link, library cards(both my bro's and mine, which he is raising hell for) and money...

arghs! how could i be so careless!

my dad told me this is a lesson to learn from but a lesson 2 days before the o' level chemistry practical?!

thankfully, i still use my passport but then again what a bother!

okay let me drift into a stream of sub-consciousness, join me...

let's see is there a God?
No, i don't believe a God who is so unreasonable and structured, one that measures faith and loyalty in terms of worships and whatever else concocted.
But that's human perception of God, those are still ultimately 'rules' and structures invented by humans to 'complicate' God's existence. Don't you think so?
Actually you do have a point. I am not answering the question. i cannot judge the existence of God by human's portrayal of him. That's utterly absurd.
Now don't you think the concept of God must have originated from somewhere, after all you can't crave chocolate if you haven't tasted it. likewise, you wouldn't automatically pray to God if there wasn't this concept already ingrained into you from the very beginning.
No, the concept of God can be purely human's imagination and wild hope. after all you find many converts turning to God and actually believing only when they are really in dire need, or when they need miracles to happen. it's a blind faith, a blind hope, something to grasp on, to wish upon when they have nothing more left to save them. don't you see, they see as salvation.
But they do get help sometimes, don't they?
Ever heard of concidences?
Anyway after their 'catastrophes' they continue to trust in God and put their faith in him, don't they? Some of the cleverest people believe in God too. Some of the most logical ones and even some scientists.now how can you explain that?
Well, everyone has their highs and lows in life. so why not buy some insurance, just in case there is really a God. after all,the image of God seems to be one of a buoy in the stormy seas of harsh realities. God lends you identity and purpose and self confidence, the things some of us fail to find in our lives and can perhaps only express in the name of God. for these people, they finally have an identity, not one of their own though. but one as a group worshipping God. they might not have purpose in life, after all what's life after death, but what does human-perceived God and religion say? They say that there is life after death and everyone has a divine aim in life. of course, this statement renews hope. it tells me, it tells us that life is not meaningless, we do not just breathe, eat, defecate and die. rotting and decomposing to form fossil fuels in order to continue the cyclic flow of energy on our planet. it prevents some of us from commiting suicide. but can you see behind that facade? isn't it all just a conspiracy and a buff to reassure ourselves? isn't the manipulation of religion (eg. terrorists/israel-palestinian conflict) enough to tell you that only something that 'man-made' can be so easily manipulated? conflicts/wars have resulted due to a difference in ideologies (communism vs democracy) what makes you think that religion is also such a weapon, such a man-conceived notion?
i see.. but putting aside all this, do you believe, do you?
i think i do.. i think i do.. but perhaps it's the human weakling in me, being afraid of facing what's out there without the assurance of a 'backdoor' from suffering? But sometimes when i look at the skies, i can't help but imagine there's a God somewhere out there...maybe.. perhaps we are just pawns in his game...

try this yourself, it's kind of fun. but there's no need to choose such a controversial subject like religion.. :) though i would be ecstatic if jia could try it and reply to this post :)