thinking of....

teenage angst
(when you know it not, you flaunt it. when you finally do, you 'd hide it)

Acheivements- a squiggly mess on white paper
Corroding its pristine surface with its ugly black scrapings.
Sweeping sadness floods over me,
I have just realised i was not this year's prizewinners' list

Insomnia,tears,headaches
All for nothing
Wasted till I was left breathless
I seem not to have my own targets

Only what the society sets me.
A1? A2?Distinction rate of 10?
Why is my life limited to grades-
Just a measly symbol on my report book

Lost touch of myself in the race for results,
hoping I will slide down the right side of the bell-curve

Pythagoras, Binomial, Quotient rule
Those tiny figures swim in my exhausted brain
Trying to form a tangible equation.
Trying to cram some more chemistry in.

Even my refuge has been snatched away.
Books used to be travelling without moving.
A mere flick of a page would probably land me in India
But now it 's just a source for lengthy vocabulary.

I am a machine
My grey matter, my engine
My body, my well-oiled gears
I eat for sustenance
I process whatever you want me to.
No feelings.
No emotions.
No apathy.
My aim: to conquer the world
You have made me inhumane.